Four accidents? I got some esplainin' to do

This is Steve Rebuttal Day. I deliberately passed up shopping this Black Friday just so I could come to work and explain those four accidents he told you I caused. OK, I’m lying. I had to come to work anyway. And the only way I’d be shopping today is if the mall didn’t open till noon and I had a Wonka golden ticket to be first in line, both at the door and the checkout line. But as long as I’m stuck here, let me explain. Yes, technically, I have caused four accidents in my 24 years of driving