25 signs that you have grown up

Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 6:00AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. You watch the Weather Channel. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.” You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.” You’re the one calling the police because those %&