To the asshole hit-and-run drunk-driving Jake — you can run but you cannot hide from Elaine….BIATCH!

Sarah, Today was the day from hell. I need you to be here for me. In other words, today I do not want to hear about your love life. Today, it’s all about Elaine. I just want you to sit there and nod and hug me from time to time. Capiche? Tomorrow’s another day and we can get back to the norm of me sitting there and nodding while you talk endlessly about your life. Really. I can’t wait. That’s what I’m here for right? Sure, you’re 30 years old but I guess you’re never too old to obsess abou